Onboard The Beauty
56 Spring 218
Astarael
Astarael is standing on the deck midship, facing the starboard side. The sun is high in the sky. The others are off having their mid-day meals, or attending to the many tasks that need doing upon the ship.
She is staring down into the water below, deep in thought. Vanja’s recent words echoing in her head. The pain of her recent experiences, conveyed both in word and the sound of her voice.
When they opened that chest, and saw that it had contained Vanja, Astarael’s heart had broken. She had been so close to rescue for almost a grasp—and yet they had not known of her presence.
Astarael’s memories of her own pain and suffering had overwhelmed her in that moment. No amount of time can bury them deep enough, it seems. They’ve never really talked about what had happened to her, so Vanja does not know. Astarael had wanted to share, so that perhaps the girl may feel less isolated. That she could understand, having been through something similar. But she was so stunned by Vanja’s response that her words failed her.
Vanja’s trauma is too fresh, too overwhelming, for her to be able to hear what Astarael was trying to say. I understand. I have been there. A different experience, but also much the same. So very much.
Astarael knows what it means to be kept in the dark. To not see the sun for an untold amount of time, each moment smearing together to become what feels like an eternity. Astarael will never know how long they left her in her cell. The potions she was given had further warped her mind and distorted her perception.
She had once feared the dark. But one day, Astarael had found that she was able to see through it. Seemingly a gift from the source of her own powers.
Vanja told her that the horrible chest in which she had been kept was periodically flooded with water, and she had nearly drowned each time. An unwilling picture of this formed in her mind: Vanja in that cramped space, the fear she felt, how she suffered. How glad she is that Vanja has been spared what would have followed. Her own journey to Galoring as a prisoner had been difficult. But by contrast, it was nothing compared to what came after.
It’s with this thought that Astarael stares into the water below. She recalls the many times she was also nearly drowned. Water that was freezing, water that was scalding hot. Over and over, she was held beneath, so long that her lungs began to fill, until finally she was pulled above, sputtering for just a moment, before being submerged again.
As a child she had learned to swim. Her aunt, Leona, brought her to the shore many times. Taught her to respect the power of the waves, of the sea, of the rocks below. She had become a strong swimmer, confident in the water.
Her time in Galoring had robbed her of that confidence. Made her afraid. But no more.
Astarael, standing upon the deck, begins to remove her boots and clothes. She strips down to her undergarments, and climbs upon the rail, holding onto a nearby line for balance. The spring air is cool on her exposed skin, and she looks down upon herself, pale in the bright sun, and reflects back to her conversation with Sylas about the scars upon Bax’s own body. To him, they showed a lack of care. But to Astarael, each one is a testament to the things she has endured. Some from her time in Galoring, suffering at the cruelty of others, bound for an untold time. Some from mistakes made in sparring practice with Roland. Others still from the many fights she’s been in since leaving that place. Her right hand touches her side with the newest scar, a long gash from the strange beast that had slain her horse, and nearly her.
Now it was time to heal a wound that no one could see. She feels the wind, ever present, swirling around her, takes a deep breath, and dives headfirst off the edge of the ship.
Ethan
For the most part, Bishop was an excellent teacher. He would assign a particular task, observe the approach, and allow the pupil to learn by doing. Occasionally, he would chime in with guidance to help shepherd Ethan towards a path he may not see for himself. But once the bread crumbs were indicated, it was Ethan’s job to follow them and Bishop would resume his role as observer. It was a benefit to each of them that Ethan was both capable and clever.
Clever is not the same thing as smart, however, and there was one thing each of them had mostly avoided: Literacy.
Grasping most things he attempted quickly, Ethan was frustrated how difficult it was to make sense of the funny squiggles that somehow represented speech. Bishop also lacked some of his usual patience, in part because of his own limitations - without a body, he could not point to particular words or write individual letters. Combined, it was unsurprising that all of their previous attempts yielded little progress.
But Ethan was determined to take advantage of his time stuck on the ship and the journal in his hands served as encouragement. So he decided to combine lessons, so to speak; he aimed to learn about the Inquisition, Galoring and this particular Inquisitor all at the same time. To do this, he would need a different teacher. He would need Astarael and her information. He hoped she was ready to share. Some of this material could be a sensitive subject for her…
He made his way to the top deck after checking the few other places she could be. He arrived just in time to watch her dive over the side and into the waters below. He walked to the pile of clothes and looked over the side. There was no sign of her. Ethan wondered if maybe she was testing out the necklace that Sylas had offered up the other night. Or perhaps she just wanted to take a swim?
He wasn’t sure. He trusted she was a good swimmer though as the boat was still moving at a reasonable clip and she would need to be to avoid being lost in the ship’s wake.
He asked the man at the ship’s helm where the ladder for people to climb back aboard was and he was given a strange look. Somehow, the man hadn’t seen Astarael dive overboard. After a moment he pointed and offered some direction.
Ethan gathered a towel from below deck and made his way back to the side of the ship, keeping an eye out for a pale, naked Morathi fish.
Astarael
The water is nearly freezing. She turns and opens her eyes. Above her beams of light filters through the surface, the sparking points above ever changing. Panic begins to set in, a desire to swim to the surface. But she wills herself to be calm.
She hears her aunt’s voice echo from her past, cutting through the ever present chatter in her mind.
“The sea is a dangerous thing, Astarael. It can bring many blessings—a speedy trade route, food, and other resources, but it can be an indiscriminate killer as well. You must learn to respect the waves, the currents, the wind above, and find power in them. Calm your mind, push through your fear, and find a way to use these things to your own advantage.”
She can hold her breath no longer. The air is expelled, and bubbles away. But what replaces it is not the stinging feeling of water - but somehow, air renewed.
Astarael can still breathe.
She smiles, and turns to face the boat, slowly moving away from her. This is not the sea she knows, but there are still currents flowing around her, small waves lapping overhead. Muscle memory kicks in, and Astarael begins to swim. She lets herself enjoy the swirl of an eddy, rides along the pull of the wake, before swimming hard to catch up to the boat, finally surfacing as she grabs onto the slippery handhold. Oblivious to the cold air, she clings to the side of the ship for a time, feeling a strange nostalgia for the few good moments of her childhood, and experiencing the first bit of joy she’s had in a very long time.
Ethan
Ethan appears as a small head peeking over the side of the boat. He could barely see her over the curve of the ship. He waves a hand when she looks up.
Their eyes meet and she offers a small wave in response. He steps back from the ledge and waits for her to come up.
Astarael
Astarael looks up at the sky above, and sees the face of Ethan appear. She raises an eyebrow in inquiry, and clambers over the railing.
As she does so, her back is turned towards him, and he glimpses between her shoulder blades a very different kind of scar: a brand, bearing the image of the familiar swan sigil.
She sees him standing there, towel in hand. The water is dripping off of her onto the deck, and the warmth of the sun feels weaker now. She begins to shiver a bit.
“Is that for me? Or were you intending to take a swim yourself?”
Ethan
Ethan shakes his head, handing her the towel. “No, I mean, I can swim but…” he looks at the wake of churning water behind the ship. “…not well enough to catch a boat.” Ethan doesn’t note any extra flippers or fins on her frame, so he assumes Astarael either used a more subtle form of magic or she truly was an excellent swimmer.
“So I haven’t been in yet. I used some buckets of river water to take a bath yesterday but that’s as close as I’ve come. The water is,” he exaggerates a shiver. “Well, it’ll wake you up, that’s for sure.” He offers a weak smile.
After she takes the towel, Ethan’s hands reach for the journal tucked into the waist of his pants.
“Listen, I’ve got to ask a favor of you. I don’t know how big a favor it is but I think it’s important.” He looks around once again to make sure they’re isolated enough to speak without being easily overheard. They seem clear but Warbler had a way of appearing out of nowhere and Sav’s little animal companion seemed just as omnipresent. He stepped a little closer, almost (paranoid) on instinct. “I need you to tell me everything you can about Galoring, about the culture, norms, people. And…” he hesitated. “…the Inquisition. Like everything.”
He looked down at the journal. “…and also probably help me learn to read.” He blushed a little. “I think if you read the journal to me, you may have some extra insights beyond what is on the pages. And, if I hear the words often enough, I’m hoping to memorize parts. Then I’ll put those words together with the little marks on the pages until they make sense. That’s the idea, anyway.”
Astarael
Astarael wraps herself in the cloth, feeling relief as her body begins to warm again. She nods at Ethan.
“I will tell you what I can. But keep in mind, what I know is based off of when I left, over two years ago. I hope we will find it much the same, but many things can change in that span of time.”
She takes the journal from his hands, and begins to flip through, pausing on some pages a bit longer, her face an expression of concern and concentration. She sighs, and closes it.
“Teaching you to read I can also do. But I’m afraid the content of this, as written, won’t do us much good. It’s in Common, but it appears to me that whatever the true meaning is, it’s obscured with some kind of code. With some help and enough time, I think Sav may be able to work it out. Hopefully it won’t take too long to decipher, I suspect the sooner we have it’s secrets, the better.”
Astarael hands the book back to Ethan.
“I would also like to hear more about the city at large from Sav. She grew up in Galoring, and may have additional insights for us. My experience will be limited to certain areas.”
Ethan
“Yeah… about that… Astarael…” he looks at her intently. “Do you trust Sav?”
Astarael
Astarael looks confused.
“I…uh…she’s always seemed trustworthy to me. And you know I don’t trust easily. Has she done something to make you believe she may not be worthy of that trust?”
Ethan
“The very first mission we go on together, the sewers? That was her lead.
“We ran into an Inquisitor.
“Spending a month to hike out to the buried city - also at her behest. We get nothing. Swans are already surrounding the place. Then we get ambushed - in the middle of nowhere. Somehow they know exactly where we are.
“And when we get split up, Sav is nowhere to be found.
“She only shows up again AFTER we’ve secured the carts. AFTER I nearly get killed by the trap!
“Northgate, she leaves without telling anyone. Goes searching for you. Why? Why is she so focused on you?
“From what you told me, the Baroness had a special place for you. Losing you was personal. If she wanted to keep tabs, make sure you made your way back to the capital, who would she send to guard you?
“The Baroness knows you pretty well - well enough to send someone out wouldn’t suspect…? Maybe an orphan that you’d feel sorry for? Protective of?
“I’m saying, look at the facts we have:
“She’s an ex-Swan who’s good at finding people AND has magic. She wasn’t even on the invite list when the conspiracy began - she just showed up!
“And her interests? The things she’s constantly pursuing? - All Aasimar related. Who else has those interests? Who else is obsessed with finding out Aasimar secrets?
“For fuck sake, Astarael, she knows the language! How does she know the language? No one besides Danica even speaks it - I don’t think you can learn it just from reading!
“Speaking of which. Where is this ex-Swan from? - Galoring.
“And just now, on this ship, she executed the one Swan soldier we have captive before we can get him to talk. The Swan who’s been traveling with an Inquisitor for the better part of a year!
“There’s too much not to sow a little doubt…!”
He paused, his eyes still ablaze.
“All that, ALL that, could have simple explanations. Fine, sure. I’m not saying it can’t. But it should be enough to make you cautious. Enough to ask questions.”
He holds up his fingers as he speaks each observation, combining a mental list of statements and questions:
“—An ex-Swan, originally from the capital, who’s obsessed with Aasimar.
“—Finding us of her own accord after allegedly speaking to one of my old friends who - mysteriously - disappears immediately afterwards.
“—Against the rest of us, this group of survivors, all of whom have been stripped of their family and friends, hunted, tortured and killed by a relentless army, what has she lost that would make her so committed to continue in this fight despite all the danger? She made the entire journey, two months of travel on the road, completely on her own. Of any of us, her magic means that she could survive on her own, anywhere and without anyone.
“—And lastly, of this group filled with criminals - all of whom have their face etched onto posters with hefty rewards - how is she the only person to remain completely unknown?”
Astarael
Astarael’s face is one of marked concern, as she listens to what Ethan has to say. She turns from him, and looks over the railing as he speaks, staring at the riverbank, and the water between. She contemplates for a moment, and turns to face him again.
“I can see why you would think these things. Put that way, it does seem to be a lot of damning evidence. But you’re wrong to think that about Sav.
“It is a plan the Baroness would relish to have thought of, if it were true. But if Sav had such a mission, why would she have ever let me go my separate way from the group?
“And how could she have even found me in the first place? My journey from Galoring to Northgate was more than two years on the road, and I was pursued by plenty of Swans in the beginning. I made it into Northgate unseen, and hid out at Roux’s place for more than a grasp. She would have had to have followed me for more than a year, on the run, fighting, and then kept watch while I was hiding at Roux’s place. Are you saying I’m so unobservant I never noticed her that whole time? She is quite good at sneaking, and can be invisible herself, but I am very cautious, and was vigilant for pursuers, both magic users and not.
“The Baroness did once know me, more than well. She has a way of entering a person’s mind, Ethan. She knew all of my thoughts, everything I had ever experienced. And for that reason, she knows I am unlikely to trust a stranger, even one so innocent seeming as Sav. I’ve become more trusting with time, but the person I was when I left Galoring was not someone who would quickly welcome a stranger into my life. And knowing this, Tyr Isendel sent someone I had once trusted. Your own brother.
“I don’t know if you heard what he said to me, when we met again in the ravine. He tried to tell me that it was not too late, that I could come home. But I have changed, and can not go back. That place can never be my home again.
“By your logic, you have even less reason to trust me, you know. Because my place was once by the side of the Baroness. My relationship to her was once one of fierce loyalty and love - a love that I believed reciprocated. If I had not made the choice I had, and betrayed her, I would be amongst your enemy, rather than your friend. I would be an Inquisitor. Fortunately for us both, I have a conscience. Unlike her, I do value the lives of those she considers to be common.
“I hope by now that my own actions have spoken clearly enough - that my loyalty lies with this group, above all others. But if you doubt Sav, you must doubt me too.”
Ethan
Ethan sighs and shakes his head.
“You didn’t answer the questions, but I’ll answer yours and easily. Simply put, she didn’t follow you all the way from Galoring. She just found you while investigating the rest of us. Sav wouldn’t have known you, in particular, were at Northgate - she could have been dispatched (just like the rest of the inquisition) when there were reliable sightings of witches. Her mission may have been to find you, in particular, but I’d wager she would be assigned to find witches in general as well.
“So when she let you go off on your own, it would may have been a tough decision between either following you (one witch) or the rest of us (many witches). When she felt the rest of us were secure and knew our destination, she moved once again to get back to you. After all, we were all together in the city. We had everything we needed to get out. She had no way of knowing what a shit show things would turn into.
“As for what Roland said… I was there. And I heard. And if you had any interest in betraying us, it would have been right there and then. We were no match for you, the grand inquisitor, Roland and the GI’s personal guards. If all of you united, our party would have been broken. Those not immediately captured would have been easy enough to round up in the ensuing days.
“So, yes, I trust you. I got a chance to see you turn down temptation when you thought no one else was watching. When you had the best opportunity to complete your task, if it was to ‘get us.’
“The Grand Inquisitor may have been willing to face down Roland… but she’s the only person I’ve ever seen who would make that choice. Everything about him let the world know which side of his strength it wished to be on. If you trained together, I imagine some of those scars are from his lessons.
“So I may be blind, but I’m not keeping an eye on you with an expectation of getting stabbed in the back. I’ve seen your face on Wanted posters. I’ve seen you stand toe-to-toe against the strongest enemies the Inquisition could muster and watched as you refused to back down. Your story supports your actions and vice versa. So if you’re a plant, a spy, whatever… then you don’t actually know it. It’s buried in you like one of those personalities that were trapped inside Bax’s body.”
He turns to look out over the water to the shore passing by steadily.
“Look, instead of dismissing the accusations against your friend with weak assurances, all I’m asking is that you harbor a little mistrust until there are answers to a lot of very suspicious actions and one hell of a dodgy resume.
“Like I said before, any one of those things could have an easy answer. But taken together, they start to look more than a little suspicious. But if you get answers, if you can somehow convince me that she’s actually in this fight at least half as deep as you are, then you’d be doing us all a favor. There are enough twists and turns around here without having to worry about keeping an eye on her too.”
Astarael
Astarael nods, and leans on the railing, close to Ethan. Her voice is even lower.
“I admit, I am biased to believe Sav is what she presents herself to be. But it’s good to check on those biases, from time to time, and for that reason I am willing to listen to your suspicions and weigh in on what we know.
“Is it possible that she’s been tasked with pursuing witches this whole time? Sure. But here’s what you should know about me. I spent my childhood alone. Totally friendless, beyond the company of my Aunt. People seemed frightened of me, and my parents mostly kept me isolated. So, as a game, I spent a lot of time observing people from afar. Learning to read their body language. Listening to my parents having conversations. They were social climbers, wealthy artisans trying to buy their way into nobility. Or maybe marry me into it. I’m not sure. But from all of this I learned to read the subtext - what people’s true intentions were. When they were lying, or being honest. What they really wanted.
“Maybe I’m wrong. But Sav’s interest in the Aasimar has always seemed to be just genuine childlike wonder. A fascination of learning how a thing works - like taking a machine apart, learning what each part does, and making it into something new. The Aasimar machines involve magic, and are beyond my own understanding, but it’s somehow not beyond hers. As for the language, maybe it’s something she was just able to work out. Like breaking a code. Or sometimes, with magic, you just know things. But regardless how she’s accomplished it, I’ve seen firsthand how people behave when they seek power for nefarious reasons, and I don’t see this in her.
“As for why she’s here? Well, she had her place of refuge taken from her. And turned to find the people she was told by a friend who might help. It was by chance that she and I bonded - and it was at my request to do so, not hers. It was a calculated move on my part. I saw someone whom I could gain something from - someone to watch my back, and she seemed so smart. I thought maybe she could help me learn more about my own magic source. And in turn I could offer her protection as well. It’s because of that bond that I think she came to find me, after the card game. From what she told me, she was upset. She thought you didn’t need her, but that I might, and so she sought to find me again.
“As my friend, have some faith in me, and my judgment on this matter. I promise to reflect on what you said, and try to be objective.”
Ethan
He nods. “Like I said, I trust you. I’m not convinced enough to come to any conclusion based on the points I raised. They’re just… observations. Better to suspect and be proven wrong than to trust and find it was misplaced, right?
“But so long as your eyes are always open, that’s all I could ask of anyone.”
He laughs slightly. “…and since you’ve got some of the best eyes of anyone I’ve met, if you’re looking and there’s something to see, I trust you’ll find it.”
Astarael
Astarael blushes visibly at the comment about her eyes, and clears her throat slightly.
“Yes, well, the night vision has come in handy.
“Now, the next question is, if I tell more of my tale to the group, do you think they will still trust me? I worry that I’ve waited too long, and I’ve put us all in more danger for it. What happened to Vanja was deeply unfortunate, not just for her, but all of us. I think we’ve outrun any knowledge of us and our deeds for now, but I would expect it will catch up at some point. With our luck, it will be at the least opportune time, as well.
“We are going to have to ask her what she’s told them. Hopefully it’s not all of our secrets. Though…”
Astarael smiles at Ethan.
“…if you do decide to take a swim, let me know. I have a new trick up my sleeve, and it’s one I think I can share with the rest of you. I’m eager to give it a try.”
Ethan
He looks troubled when she mentions Vanja. “Yeah… he says looking away. “Definitely need to have some words with her…
“I think the others won’t hold anything you’ve told me about your past against you. They may have questions, but I think they’ll still see you the same way after you get done sharing.
“As for the swim…” he looks overboard, shaking his head. “That waters a bit too cold for my liking right now, but if I take a dip, I’ll make sure to let you know.”
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